Chapter Four: Likely Responses to the Question, "Would you like a bag?"

1) A straightforward, "Yes"

2) A straightforward, "No". I like this one.

3) The, "Yes... oh no actually, I think I can fit it in here"

4) The, "No... actually yes..."

5) "No, no, I have my own bag here, could you pop it in for me please? Thankyou". Some people are so polite :)

6) "Yes I think I'd better; don't want anybody thinking I've just walked out with this..."

7) The, "Yes, if you have one there?" People, people, people... we are a shop. Shops have bags.

8) The gruff, "Yes" followed by a muttered, "What kind of a question is that". The next person who says that to me is going to be hit in the face with a, "Well sir, some people have the wise idea of bringing their own bags with them. Cutting down their carbon footprint and all that."

My all-time favourite... (as of 06/10/07)

9) A panic-stricken look appears on the customer's face at the absolute horror of being asked a question they were not prepared for. They then say, "Hhmmm..." and stare at their purchases for some time. They glance at any bag they have with them and occasionally one customer will actually say, "I don't know..."

My new all-time favourite... (as of 08/10/07)

10) "Unfortunately, yes" then after a moment of thought, the customer provided this apology, "I'm sorry to be such a... bloody nuisance..." It cracked me up more than you'd think, owing to the elderly man's very droll voice that some elderly men are prone to. He also had a semi-Welsh accent. It was amusing to say the least.

This very customer came back today (31/10/07) and I served him again. He was returning stuff and buying more stuff. He kept apologising for being such a bother to me and I kept assuring him he wasn't. He then said, "If someone asked me to do all this I'd tell them to shove off..." awww

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a brand new response as of 09/10/07...

11) *hard-stare-into-my-eyes-as-if-expecting-me-to-read-their-mind* Unbelievably, this happened twice in the final third of my shift today. At first I thought they hadn't heard, so I asked again after I scanned all of their items. Turned out they actually did "nod" & grunt. I just was not expecting it.