Indeed it is not merely the customers who can prove annoying.
Annoying workmates may be found in varying forms, the first of which is endless questions... "Gemma what do I do if..." "Gemma this isn't working" "Gemma can you help me?"
I like it though. I like feeling needed and I feel like the people in question look up to me. One did indeed call me the "bearer of all knowledge" today; however I did not know the answer to the question I was asked shortly after :P
The second is endless teasing; let me enlighten you...
"Gemma where's your name badge... Oh that's right, you don't have one"
"At least my badge says my name... not 'Gift cards'"
*poke*! grrrr
You know I luv ya really :D
Saturday, 17 November 2007
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Chapter Fifteen: Overcoming those Crappy Weeks
Occasionally one enters the workplace with their only thought being, "When am I going to get home, away from this ruddy place" It is bad news for the employee in question and their customers if several of these days happen in succession.
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep.
Maybe you realise you aren't going to get a lunch break.
Maybe you have other things on your mind.
Maybe you're just overwhelmed by something; the amount of hours you managed to work for such little pay, the amount of things you won't get done that night to name a few.
Frustration can be taken out on the till and this is a much better way than losing one's temper with customers now, isn't it? A short break (toilet break, finding a dvd, phoning someone) may be all you need to cool off. Good. Because you know it'll only get worse before it gets better.
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep.
Maybe you realise you aren't going to get a lunch break.
Maybe you have other things on your mind.
Maybe you're just overwhelmed by something; the amount of hours you managed to work for such little pay, the amount of things you won't get done that night to name a few.
Frustration can be taken out on the till and this is a much better way than losing one's temper with customers now, isn't it? A short break (toilet break, finding a dvd, phoning someone) may be all you need to cool off. Good. Because you know it'll only get worse before it gets better.
Friday, 19 October 2007
Chapter Fourteen: "Must-Have" Accessories to take to Work
3) A biro. Comes in handy when signing returns receipts and suchlike. Also seems to give the bearer a certain air of authority. Don't ask; just don't go there.
2) A small red elastic band. Yes, it needs to be red.
"Why, exactly" I hear you ask? Nobody knows.
1) The most important item that any temporary sales assistant will need is a small calculator. Small enough to fit in one's blouse pocket, it will definately help when mistakes are made regarding, well, money. Mistakes such as these...
The customer hands over £21.36 but, by sheer lack of concentration, one keys in £26.31. *Gasp*!
One happens to be working too fast for the till, so instead of keying in £2.50, the till thinks the customer is trying to pay for a £2.35 item with only 25pence.
2) A small red elastic band. Yes, it needs to be red.
"Why, exactly" I hear you ask? Nobody knows.
1) The most important item that any temporary sales assistant will need is a small calculator. Small enough to fit in one's blouse pocket, it will definately help when mistakes are made regarding, well, money. Mistakes such as these...
The customer hands over £21.36 but, by sheer lack of concentration, one keys in £26.31. *Gasp*!
One happens to be working too fast for the till, so instead of keying in £2.50, the till thinks the customer is trying to pay for a £2.35 item with only 25pence.
Chapter Thirteen: Injuries in the Workplace; They come with the Territory
The most minor of injuries seem to be the worst. They happen every day. They sting so badly that one's immediate reaction is to scream and put one's finger in one's mouth. One has to fight the urge though; it's not good hygiene.
What am I talking about?
The PAPERCUT
Small but definately not insignificant.
My hands are covered with them.
Other injuries include:
1) The squished/smooshed finger. This occurs mainly in books. The customer hands over a pile of dictionaries or encyclopoedias which will inevitably be rested upon one's finger. It can also occur in stationery with such things as those big metal boxes people keep buying. Or laminators. I actually don't think we sell laminators; there is something though; paper cutter maybe? Paper shredding machines are another thing to be wary of.
2) The stapled finger. This can happen on a daily basis. Ouch.
3) When walking around behind the express tills (for example, on the way to the lottery machine), be afraid. Be very afraid. Just watch your step. Occasionally, without warning, a fellow employee will suddenly crouch down on the floor. Not to be random, there is always a good reason. Refilling the plastic bags under each till. Refilling the tobacco drawer. Trying to find a dvd/computer software box in the filing cabinet. Looking for receipt rolls. Stamps. If you should happen to trip over the person in question, this means that there are now two injured people. It's never usually more than a little trip; a banged knee and sore head; a trodden on hand. One may well ask, "Well, what happens if you should happen to actually fall?!" Hopefully we shall never know.
Another point about the "Behind-the-Till" area is *shivers* ~The Pillar~ behind till six. Don't run near it; it will injure your shoulders.
4) When taking a step backwards, be sure to check one's rear-view mirror. Failing that, looking over the shoulder helps. The last time I stepped backwards without looking I was run into and sent flying into the wall. Laughter ensued. Enough said.
5) Beware, the COUNTER-CACHE... Small but not insignificant! Little finger injuries; one's tiny little finger gets in the way and becomes trapped, bursting a few blood vessels under the skin. Goes numb for a while. Funny. Not.
What am I talking about?
The PAPERCUT
Small but definately not insignificant.
My hands are covered with them.
Other injuries include:
1) The squished/smooshed finger. This occurs mainly in books. The customer hands over a pile of dictionaries or encyclopoedias which will inevitably be rested upon one's finger. It can also occur in stationery with such things as those big metal boxes people keep buying. Or laminators. I actually don't think we sell laminators; there is something though; paper cutter maybe? Paper shredding machines are another thing to be wary of.
2) The stapled finger. This can happen on a daily basis. Ouch.
3) When walking around behind the express tills (for example, on the way to the lottery machine), be afraid. Be very afraid. Just watch your step. Occasionally, without warning, a fellow employee will suddenly crouch down on the floor. Not to be random, there is always a good reason. Refilling the plastic bags under each till. Refilling the tobacco drawer. Trying to find a dvd/computer software box in the filing cabinet. Looking for receipt rolls. Stamps. If you should happen to trip over the person in question, this means that there are now two injured people. It's never usually more than a little trip; a banged knee and sore head; a trodden on hand. One may well ask, "Well, what happens if you should happen to actually fall?!" Hopefully we shall never know.
Another point about the "Behind-the-Till" area is *shivers* ~The Pillar~ behind till six. Don't run near it; it will injure your shoulders.
4) When taking a step backwards, be sure to check one's rear-view mirror. Failing that, looking over the shoulder helps. The last time I stepped backwards without looking I was run into and sent flying into the wall. Laughter ensued. Enough said.
5) Beware, the COUNTER-CACHE... Small but not insignificant! Little finger injuries; one's tiny little finger gets in the way and becomes trapped, bursting a few blood vessels under the skin. Goes numb for a while. Funny. Not.
Chapter Twelve: Those Annoying Customers...
I have to say, annoying customers are few and far between. Therefore they are highly unexpected and one can become quite taken aback at serving them.
There was one annoying gentleman who I happened to serve. He did not realise that we charge extortionate rates for the our drinks and was not willing to pay 90p for a can of Coke. Our conversation went something like this;
Gemma: That's £2.48 please
Man (we'll call him Barry): I don't think that's right.
(Gemma checks the till screen to see if anything has scanned twice. Everything is in order)
Gemma: No, it's definately coming to £2.48
Barry: That can't be right... How much was the coke?
G: 90p
B: I think that's wrong. Cans of coke are normally about 55p
(Gemma turns till screen round to show him)
G: It definately says 90p
B: I don't think that's right.
etc etc. He paid for it in the end. I ended up saying to him, "Different shops charge different prices"
It is also highly annoying when a customer is so imptient that literally two seconds is too long to stand to open a bag. One particular lady reached over the counter and grabbed it off me.
IF ONE MORE PERSON COMPLAINS TO MY FACE ABOUT THE FACT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE EXACTLY EVERY BOOK IS, PRICES OF BOOKS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, OR WHETHER WE EVEN STOCK THE BOOK THEY'RE LOOKING FOR... AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
I DON'T EVEN WORK IN BOOKS!
This is what usually happens when I come out from my break...
Customer: Hi could you tell me if you have {title} by {author}?
Gemma: I'm sorry, I don't work in books but -
Customer: Well can ye not ask someone who does?
(which is exactly what I was about to do)
G: Yes I'll go and check for you now
(a few mins later)
G: I'm sorry, I can't actually find anyone at the minute who would know
C: Well that's not very good is it? Tell your manager you need more staff, (smugly adds) if somebody doesn't say it now, nobody will! The service in here is terrible, I've already asked three people and none of them "work in books"
Fair play to the customer if they've asked a lot of people; however these customers are usually the ones who then complain about the "incompetance" of the new people. One simply cannot have it both ways... "hire more people... somebody tell that new girl how to do her job!" We're actually overrun with staff at the minute, but most people are new so it takes a bit of time for them to actually feel confident enough about what they're doing. People simply don't realise that nobody keeps a log in their head of everything that we sell, and that only people in the books department are trained in how to use the computer to look for a book.
Any time this happens I'm usually coming out from my break. The last time, I was 10mins late for going back on the tills which not only kept back the stationery guy who was covering me but also had a knock-on effect on everyone else's break for the rest of the day.
Recently, the girl on the till beside me had a rather annoying customer... I am so glad he wasn't one of mine:
Mr Man: Can I do the lottery here?
Clare: Yeah, yeah, sure
M: Ok, I want the normal lottery draw, but for just the bonus ball
C: Is it the normal lottery draw with the dream number you want?
M: No, just the bonus ball
C: (Very confused, and to be honest so was I)
So, is it just the dream number?
M: No, the bonus ball. The bonus ball.
Me: (Finally realising what he's after)
You can't get just the bonus ball on its own; it comes as part of the draw.
He finally settled for a normal lottery draw, went away but I saw him scrutinising his ticket for a while. Then (oh dear) he came back...
M: Clare, I don't think this is what I asked for. I don't think this is the normal lottery draw.
C: Let me see... no no, that is the normal lottery draw
M: But it says thunderball at the bottom; I asked for a normal lottery... you know the way there's about a hundred and one different things now; I wanted just the original one but I think this is a thunderball.
C: No no, that's just promoting the thunderball. It is a normal lottery draw.
M: No it's not, it says thunderball right there
C: Yes but it's just advertising the thunderball
M: Ok, but if my numbers come up in the normal lottery draw tonight I won't win because this is a thunderball ticket.
Long story short he went away believing he got a thunderball instead of the normal lottery. I hope his numbers didn't come up in the thunderball... :P
All I will say about "Customer X" on Wednesday 21st November 2007 is that he started yelling the f word all over the place. With children present :( He said that one person was "no f'ing use" She was actually the most experienced person on the tills at the time. He wanted to order a magazine but the news team were as elusive as ever and the queue was nearly at the door so all we had time to do was check the news store for them and they weren't there. Till staff aren't allowed to to orders, so aren't trained in that particular area.
There was one annoying gentleman who I happened to serve. He did not realise that we charge extortionate rates for the our drinks and was not willing to pay 90p for a can of Coke. Our conversation went something like this;
Gemma: That's £2.48 please
Man (we'll call him Barry): I don't think that's right.
(Gemma checks the till screen to see if anything has scanned twice. Everything is in order)
Gemma: No, it's definately coming to £2.48
Barry: That can't be right... How much was the coke?
G: 90p
B: I think that's wrong. Cans of coke are normally about 55p
(Gemma turns till screen round to show him)
G: It definately says 90p
B: I don't think that's right.
etc etc. He paid for it in the end. I ended up saying to him, "Different shops charge different prices"
It is also highly annoying when a customer is so imptient that literally two seconds is too long to stand to open a bag. One particular lady reached over the counter and grabbed it off me.
IF ONE MORE PERSON COMPLAINS TO MY FACE ABOUT THE FACT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE EXACTLY EVERY BOOK IS, PRICES OF BOOKS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, OR WHETHER WE EVEN STOCK THE BOOK THEY'RE LOOKING FOR... AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
I DON'T EVEN WORK IN BOOKS!
This is what usually happens when I come out from my break...
Customer: Hi could you tell me if you have {title} by {author}?
Gemma: I'm sorry, I don't work in books but -
Customer: Well can ye not ask someone who does?
(which is exactly what I was about to do)
G: Yes I'll go and check for you now
(a few mins later)
G: I'm sorry, I can't actually find anyone at the minute who would know
C: Well that's not very good is it? Tell your manager you need more staff, (smugly adds) if somebody doesn't say it now, nobody will! The service in here is terrible, I've already asked three people and none of them "work in books"
Fair play to the customer if they've asked a lot of people; however these customers are usually the ones who then complain about the "incompetance" of the new people. One simply cannot have it both ways... "hire more people... somebody tell that new girl how to do her job!" We're actually overrun with staff at the minute, but most people are new so it takes a bit of time for them to actually feel confident enough about what they're doing. People simply don't realise that nobody keeps a log in their head of everything that we sell, and that only people in the books department are trained in how to use the computer to look for a book.
Any time this happens I'm usually coming out from my break. The last time, I was 10mins late for going back on the tills which not only kept back the stationery guy who was covering me but also had a knock-on effect on everyone else's break for the rest of the day.
Recently, the girl on the till beside me had a rather annoying customer... I am so glad he wasn't one of mine:
Mr Man: Can I do the lottery here?
Clare: Yeah, yeah, sure
M: Ok, I want the normal lottery draw, but for just the bonus ball
C: Is it the normal lottery draw with the dream number you want?
M: No, just the bonus ball
C: (Very confused, and to be honest so was I)
So, is it just the dream number?
M: No, the bonus ball. The bonus ball.
Me: (Finally realising what he's after)
You can't get just the bonus ball on its own; it comes as part of the draw.
He finally settled for a normal lottery draw, went away but I saw him scrutinising his ticket for a while. Then (oh dear) he came back...
M: Clare, I don't think this is what I asked for. I don't think this is the normal lottery draw.
C: Let me see... no no, that is the normal lottery draw
M: But it says thunderball at the bottom; I asked for a normal lottery... you know the way there's about a hundred and one different things now; I wanted just the original one but I think this is a thunderball.
C: No no, that's just promoting the thunderball. It is a normal lottery draw.
M: No it's not, it says thunderball right there
C: Yes but it's just advertising the thunderball
M: Ok, but if my numbers come up in the normal lottery draw tonight I won't win because this is a thunderball ticket.
Long story short he went away believing he got a thunderball instead of the normal lottery. I hope his numbers didn't come up in the thunderball... :P
All I will say about "Customer X" on Wednesday 21st November 2007 is that he started yelling the f word all over the place. With children present :( He said that one person was "no f'ing use" She was actually the most experienced person on the tills at the time. He wanted to order a magazine but the news team were as elusive as ever and the queue was nearly at the door so all we had time to do was check the news store for them and they weren't there. Till staff aren't allowed to to orders, so aren't trained in that particular area.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Chapter Eleven: Gemma comes with her own Rear Parking Sensors
The Loading Bay;
An area of boxes and boxes and boxes.
Deliveries.
Overstock.
Rubbish.
Lifter things.
Be careful not to get locked in. This happened to three of us on our first day; not even our first day, it was the training day hehe.
Don't reverse without checking the rearview mirror.
Make sure there is somebody there to go up the hill.
Very cryptic but those who work there know what I mean;
Don't get squashed.
An area of boxes and boxes and boxes.
Deliveries.
Overstock.
Rubbish.
Lifter things.
Be careful not to get locked in. This happened to three of us on our first day; not even our first day, it was the training day hehe.
Don't reverse without checking the rearview mirror.
Make sure there is somebody there to go up the hill.
Very cryptic but those who work there know what I mean;
Don't get squashed.
Chapter Ten: Ways to make me Freeze!
Occasionally I key the wrong thing into the till. Forexample, a customer gives me £12.84 but I accidentally key in £18.42... This is an example of when a pocket-sized calculator comes in rather handy.
Another "pocket-calculator-situation" would be when the customer gives me £15 but I accidentally key in £1.50
The number one way to make me freeze and sometimes gulp like a fish is when the customer says...
"DID I NOT GIVE YOU A £20??"
You see, we're not allowed to open the till to check.
Another "pocket-calculator-situation" would be when the customer gives me £15 but I accidentally key in £1.50
The number one way to make me freeze and sometimes gulp like a fish is when the customer says...
"DID I NOT GIVE YOU A £20??"
You see, we're not allowed to open the till to check.
Chapter Eight: "Till only to be used by GEMMA"
I found those exact words on a post-it note stuck to my till one day. I pondered on it for a while, wondering if there was a reason. Turned out it was my "allocated till" until more newbies came in.
There are many things to do at the till to keep one's brain stimulated. One such activity is a strange version of "Hide-&-Seek" and is called "Find the Barcode". Typically played with a magazine or newspaper, it can mean turning the object over in one's hands until the little, not-always-but-usually-white, panel catches one's eye. Occasionally the customer will feel the need to participate.
Another till-point game could be entitled, "See how many customers will come to you instead of the till beside yours". I, lacking originality, could not think of a better name. This game is mainly played by tills five (my new allocated till) and six. These two tills are positioned so far away from the head of the queue that one has to yell at the top of one's voice to be heard. Occasionally though, somebody is staring into space and doesn't hear shouts from either till. People generally come to till five more than till six, meaning another, rather frustrated, shout then issues from till six (well, the person using till six)
Till-point games are fun.
Other titles include; "How long will it take to open this bag", "How many more rude customers can one take before one slams the till drawer down", and my personal favourite, "Who can do most (or all) of the daily tasks and therefore serve no customers at all for the entire duration of their shift" This particular one is almost always won by the more experienced members of staff who know that the new people will stay on the tills until told otherwise. Since more new people have started, I came very close to winning (if not won) this game on a couple of occasions so far :)
The "Who has a Pen?" game; everyone knows I always carry one so it's more like "Where's Gemma, aha!"
Some people, like myself for example, may get slightly over-protective of their till. Let me enlighten you...
Saturday past (01/12/07!) I came back from my break only to discover that somebody had signed onto my till. I took one step backwards (why? I do not know...) and almost, i repeat, almost yelled, "WHO'S ON MY TILL?!" "Calm down, Gemma" was the response I got... Then I said, "WHERE'S MY PEN?!"
There are many things to do at the till to keep one's brain stimulated. One such activity is a strange version of "Hide-&-Seek" and is called "Find the Barcode". Typically played with a magazine or newspaper, it can mean turning the object over in one's hands until the little, not-always-but-usually-white, panel catches one's eye. Occasionally the customer will feel the need to participate.
Another till-point game could be entitled, "See how many customers will come to you instead of the till beside yours". I, lacking originality, could not think of a better name. This game is mainly played by tills five (my new allocated till) and six. These two tills are positioned so far away from the head of the queue that one has to yell at the top of one's voice to be heard. Occasionally though, somebody is staring into space and doesn't hear shouts from either till. People generally come to till five more than till six, meaning another, rather frustrated, shout then issues from till six (well, the person using till six)
Till-point games are fun.
Other titles include; "How long will it take to open this bag", "How many more rude customers can one take before one slams the till drawer down", and my personal favourite, "Who can do most (or all) of the daily tasks and therefore serve no customers at all for the entire duration of their shift" This particular one is almost always won by the more experienced members of staff who know that the new people will stay on the tills until told otherwise. Since more new people have started, I came very close to winning (if not won) this game on a couple of occasions so far :)
The "Who has a Pen?" game; everyone knows I always carry one so it's more like "Where's Gemma, aha!"
Some people, like myself for example, may get slightly over-protective of their till. Let me enlighten you...
Saturday past (01/12/07!) I came back from my break only to discover that somebody had signed onto my till. I took one step backwards (why? I do not know...) and almost, i repeat, almost yelled, "WHO'S ON MY TILL?!" "Calm down, Gemma" was the response I got... Then I said, "WHERE'S MY PEN?!"
Chapter Seven: Returns and Refunds...
... including the infamous lottery and scratch card prizes...
(will be added later...)
(will be added later...)
Monday, 8 October 2007
Chapter Six: Funny "Blonde" Moments
This chapter was not originally going to be here. Purely because I did not have a "blonde" moment until this afternoon (08/10/07). Here's what happened...
I was refilling the confectionary (yum!) in the queueing area, when I heard the store manager calling, "Gemma!" I looked around but couldn't see him so I thought I must have imagined it. Then I heard it again, "Gemma!" Again, he was nowhere to be seen. Baffled, I heard it a third time, "Gemma!" and finally saw him half way across the store, waving to get my attention... hhmmm.
Many many of my blonde moments occur when I am tired. ie - due a break, or even just back from a break. Take this for example:
Telling the customer that he or she is owed something like £5.50 change, then closing the till drawer without handing over the money. This situation is always made worse if I don't realise; I hand the customer the receipt and then wonder why they aren't walking away.
Occasionally, and I am not the only person to have recently done this, instead of handing the customer their change i may accidentally try giving them the amount they owed me in the first place. It's not fun.
Another example would be the many many times the customer is owed £8. For some reason, I lift out the five pound note but completely forget about the coins. Tut-tut.
My last blonde moment happened yesterday (15/10/07). The customer set a book and a few greetings cards down on the counter. I lifted up the book to scan it, but instead of asking her would she like a bag, I accidentally asked if she would care for a book. Apparently I am not the only one to have done this. Also yesterday, I asked a customer, "Would you like a receipt? Sorry I mean a bag?" She said she wouldn't care for either, then ended up taking both. Strange.
I was refilling the confectionary (yum!) in the queueing area, when I heard the store manager calling, "Gemma!" I looked around but couldn't see him so I thought I must have imagined it. Then I heard it again, "Gemma!" Again, he was nowhere to be seen. Baffled, I heard it a third time, "Gemma!" and finally saw him half way across the store, waving to get my attention... hhmmm.
Many many of my blonde moments occur when I am tired. ie - due a break, or even just back from a break. Take this for example:
Telling the customer that he or she is owed something like £5.50 change, then closing the till drawer without handing over the money. This situation is always made worse if I don't realise; I hand the customer the receipt and then wonder why they aren't walking away.
Occasionally, and I am not the only person to have recently done this, instead of handing the customer their change i may accidentally try giving them the amount they owed me in the first place. It's not fun.
Another example would be the many many times the customer is owed £8. For some reason, I lift out the five pound note but completely forget about the coins. Tut-tut.
My last blonde moment happened yesterday (15/10/07). The customer set a book and a few greetings cards down on the counter. I lifted up the book to scan it, but instead of asking her would she like a bag, I accidentally asked if she would care for a book. Apparently I am not the only one to have done this. Also yesterday, I asked a customer, "Would you like a receipt? Sorry I mean a bag?" She said she wouldn't care for either, then ended up taking both. Strange.
Sunday, 7 October 2007
Chapter Five: The Tourists!
By my fourth day I had served two foreign couples and they both amused me sufficiently to require a mention...
1) The Americans!
a) The American couple previously mentioned in my top ten customers.
Their total came to £12.70
First, they weren't sure which change was Euro's and which change was Stirling. Then they counted out their pound coins. They had eleven.
Then I noticed that one "pound coin" was actually 20 Euro cents. So that was put back in the pocket and another proper pound coin was found.
They finally ran off (literally) leaving me to sort out eleven pound coins (each individually put in a different spot on the counter), five 20 pence pieces and seven 10 pence pieces, whilst the next customer stood right in front of me watching my every move. I hate it when people don't wait for the "Next, please!"
b) 09/10/07 I served about four different American people. One of them was struggling with his change. His balance finished with a 17p; he showed me a handful of change and said, "em, could you tell me if I can make a 17 out of those?"
2) The Eastern European couple again previously mentioned.
I was refilling the confectionary shelves when they ran up to me. They were asking me something that I couldn't quite understand. Then they started waving their arms frantically and I could hear more urgence in their voices. I'm pretty sure they were asking where the beer was.
I politely said we don't have any, then they turned and literally ran out of the store, leaving me slightly confused and bewildered.
3) The funny little man who asked if we sold t-shirts. I think he thought I was telling him that nowhere did.
1) The Americans!
a) The American couple previously mentioned in my top ten customers.
Their total came to £12.70
First, they weren't sure which change was Euro's and which change was Stirling. Then they counted out their pound coins. They had eleven.
Then I noticed that one "pound coin" was actually 20 Euro cents. So that was put back in the pocket and another proper pound coin was found.
They finally ran off (literally) leaving me to sort out eleven pound coins (each individually put in a different spot on the counter), five 20 pence pieces and seven 10 pence pieces, whilst the next customer stood right in front of me watching my every move. I hate it when people don't wait for the "Next, please!"
b) 09/10/07 I served about four different American people. One of them was struggling with his change. His balance finished with a 17p; he showed me a handful of change and said, "em, could you tell me if I can make a 17 out of those?"
2) The Eastern European couple again previously mentioned.
I was refilling the confectionary shelves when they ran up to me. They were asking me something that I couldn't quite understand. Then they started waving their arms frantically and I could hear more urgence in their voices. I'm pretty sure they were asking where the beer was.
I politely said we don't have any, then they turned and literally ran out of the store, leaving me slightly confused and bewildered.
3) The funny little man who asked if we sold t-shirts. I think he thought I was telling him that nowhere did.
Chapter Four: Likely Responses to the Question, "Would you like a bag?"
1) A straightforward, "Yes"
2) A straightforward, "No". I like this one.
3) The, "Yes... oh no actually, I think I can fit it in here"
4) The, "No... actually yes..."
5) "No, no, I have my own bag here, could you pop it in for me please? Thankyou". Some people are so polite :)
6) "Yes I think I'd better; don't want anybody thinking I've just walked out with this..."
7) The, "Yes, if you have one there?" People, people, people... we are a shop. Shops have bags.
8) The gruff, "Yes" followed by a muttered, "What kind of a question is that". The next person who says that to me is going to be hit in the face with a, "Well sir, some people have the wise idea of bringing their own bags with them. Cutting down their carbon footprint and all that."
My all-time favourite... (as of 06/10/07)
9) A panic-stricken look appears on the customer's face at the absolute horror of being asked a question they were not prepared for. They then say, "Hhmmm..." and stare at their purchases for some time. They glance at any bag they have with them and occasionally one customer will actually say, "I don't know..."
My new all-time favourite... (as of 08/10/07)
10) "Unfortunately, yes" then after a moment of thought, the customer provided this apology, "I'm sorry to be such a... bloody nuisance..." It cracked me up more than you'd think, owing to the elderly man's very droll voice that some elderly men are prone to. He also had a semi-Welsh accent. It was amusing to say the least.
This very customer came back today (31/10/07) and I served him again. He was returning stuff and buying more stuff. He kept apologising for being such a bother to me and I kept assuring him he wasn't. He then said, "If someone asked me to do all this I'd tell them to shove off..." awww
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a brand new response as of 09/10/07...
11) *hard-stare-into-my-eyes-as-if-expecting-me-to-read-their-mind* Unbelievably, this happened twice in the final third of my shift today. At first I thought they hadn't heard, so I asked again after I scanned all of their items. Turned out they actually did "nod" & grunt. I just was not expecting it.
2) A straightforward, "No". I like this one.
3) The, "Yes... oh no actually, I think I can fit it in here"
4) The, "No... actually yes..."
5) "No, no, I have my own bag here, could you pop it in for me please? Thankyou". Some people are so polite :)
6) "Yes I think I'd better; don't want anybody thinking I've just walked out with this..."
7) The, "Yes, if you have one there?" People, people, people... we are a shop. Shops have bags.
8) The gruff, "Yes" followed by a muttered, "What kind of a question is that". The next person who says that to me is going to be hit in the face with a, "Well sir, some people have the wise idea of bringing their own bags with them. Cutting down their carbon footprint and all that."
My all-time favourite... (as of 06/10/07)
9) A panic-stricken look appears on the customer's face at the absolute horror of being asked a question they were not prepared for. They then say, "Hhmmm..." and stare at their purchases for some time. They glance at any bag they have with them and occasionally one customer will actually say, "I don't know..."
My new all-time favourite... (as of 08/10/07)
10) "Unfortunately, yes" then after a moment of thought, the customer provided this apology, "I'm sorry to be such a... bloody nuisance..." It cracked me up more than you'd think, owing to the elderly man's very droll voice that some elderly men are prone to. He also had a semi-Welsh accent. It was amusing to say the least.
This very customer came back today (31/10/07) and I served him again. He was returning stuff and buying more stuff. He kept apologising for being such a bother to me and I kept assuring him he wasn't. He then said, "If someone asked me to do all this I'd tell them to shove off..." awww
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a brand new response as of 09/10/07...
11) *hard-stare-into-my-eyes-as-if-expecting-me-to-read-their-mind* Unbelievably, this happened twice in the final third of my shift today. At first I thought they hadn't heard, so I asked again after I scanned all of their items. Turned out they actually did "nod" & grunt. I just was not expecting it.
Chapter Three: My Top Ten Customers
10
9) The very nice lady who said, when I printed her lotto ticket, "If I win, I'll give you some!"
8) 11/10/07 There was a guy who came in with a buttload of coins... he wanted to buy a £45 gift voucher and he had with him 2 x £5 notes, about 20 pound coins, and the rest mostly silver... twas actually quite some achievement to fit them all into the till. Needless to say I did not run out of pound coins today...
7) The American couple who couldn't sort out their Euro's from their Stirling. They told me to have a nice day :)
6) Every middle-aged man coming in on their lunch-break and buying the likes of "Playstation Magazine" or some other sort of gaming magazine; they give everyone around them shifty looks as if they are on the lookout for someone they know and should therefore hide from. Their response to the question "Do you need a bag?" is always a hurried, "Please, yeah!" then they grab their change and run...
5) The woman who came in to get some "Buy one get one free" DVD's. She later came to return them because her daughter bought the exact same ones elsewhere. Long story short, she (on hearing the bad news that I was new) apologised five times for, oh what was it... something like tormenting or harassing me... it was a different word though, beginning with "d". I think it took a full fifteen minutes to sort her out. She proceeded to tell me that she knows the training is not enough as her daughters all work in shops. (See more under "Chapter 7: Refunds")
4) A little old lady who told me she didn't need a bag. She then walked off without her magazine; when she came back she said in a very cute little voice, "Oh I thought you were putting that in a bag for me" You have no idea how many customers almost walk away without their purchases...
3) A certain elderly couple. I overheard the gentleman giving a lengthy description to a member of staff as to how he met his wife. He commented on how brown her eyes were, like gravy, then she said to him, "Look into my gravy eyes and call me sausage!" aww... ahem.
2) The little elderly lady who brought her Telegraph up to my till purely to show me and ask my opinion on the artist's impression of apartment developments in the old Titanic Quarter. She held up the queue; whilst I was talking to her, I think it tripled.
But the winner is...
1) The Eastern Eurpoean couple who frantically asked me where the beer was. When it was clear I couldn't understand their accent, they started waving their arms wildly. They must really have wanted that beer...
9) The very nice lady who said, when I printed her lotto ticket, "If I win, I'll give you some!"
8) 11/10/07 There was a guy who came in with a buttload of coins... he wanted to buy a £45 gift voucher and he had with him 2 x £5 notes, about 20 pound coins, and the rest mostly silver... twas actually quite some achievement to fit them all into the till. Needless to say I did not run out of pound coins today...
7) The American couple who couldn't sort out their Euro's from their Stirling. They told me to have a nice day :)
6) Every middle-aged man coming in on their lunch-break and buying the likes of "Playstation Magazine" or some other sort of gaming magazine; they give everyone around them shifty looks as if they are on the lookout for someone they know and should therefore hide from. Their response to the question "Do you need a bag?" is always a hurried, "Please, yeah!" then they grab their change and run...
5) The woman who came in to get some "Buy one get one free" DVD's. She later came to return them because her daughter bought the exact same ones elsewhere. Long story short, she (on hearing the bad news that I was new) apologised five times for, oh what was it... something like tormenting or harassing me... it was a different word though, beginning with "d". I think it took a full fifteen minutes to sort her out. She proceeded to tell me that she knows the training is not enough as her daughters all work in shops. (See more under "Chapter 7: Refunds")
4) A little old lady who told me she didn't need a bag. She then walked off without her magazine; when she came back she said in a very cute little voice, "Oh I thought you were putting that in a bag for me" You have no idea how many customers almost walk away without their purchases...
3) A certain elderly couple. I overheard the gentleman giving a lengthy description to a member of staff as to how he met his wife. He commented on how brown her eyes were, like gravy, then she said to him, "Look into my gravy eyes and call me sausage!" aww... ahem.
2) The little elderly lady who brought her Telegraph up to my till purely to show me and ask my opinion on the artist's impression of apartment developments in the old Titanic Quarter. She held up the queue; whilst I was talking to her, I think it tripled.
But the winner is...
1) The Eastern Eurpoean couple who frantically asked me where the beer was. When it was clear I couldn't understand their accent, they started waving their arms wildly. They must really have wanted that beer...
Chapter Two: Learning New Skills
Skill Number One: The Lottery Machine!
This is a mean, very menacing-looking blue machine which is situated right behind me. In short, it dishes out stuff like...
Lotto
Euro Millions
Thunderball
Daily Play
and checks winnings off of scratch cards and lotto tickets alike.
Before each new transaction, one must check that the last has been totally cleared. Honestly it doesn't really matter, but it is best to do these things properly. If the last transaction has not cleared, press "Total" "Send" "Sales Display". The rest is pretty straightforward. But not once one starts out, you understand.
For all transactions, if the customer gives one a slip with their numbers on it, then just feed it into the machine. That's the simple part. If the customer does not have a slip with their numbers on it then, in all cases, press "lucky dip". This enables the machine to choose numbers all by its smart little self.
Lotto: Press "Lotto".
Thunderball: Press "Thunderball".
EuroMillions: Press "EuroMillions".
In other words, use some common sense.
One customer confused me very much however by handing me two pieces of laminated paper. Both pieces were branded with the official "Lotto" logo and had sets of numbers on them. They also had a barcode each.
Apparently all one has to do in this case is press the "Pay card" button and then scan the barcodes into the machine.
The problems start when a customer wins something. One must remember to press the "Pay" button first. I think. Scratchcards require "Scratchcard pay". Hhmmm. Then scan the long barcode into the machine.
At the end of every transaction, press "Total" "Send" "Total" "Send". That should do it.
The problems only get worse when trying to key these into the till. A simple sale requires pressing either "Lottery sales" or "Stamps and Lottery" and then "Lottery sales" depending on whether or not the button on the touch-screen decides to hide. A EuroMillion requires "Stamps and Lottery" followed by "Euro Millions" simple enough.
A Lottery pay-out requires first "Item refund". The "item" is returned without original receipt and is in mint condition. Scan the ticket barcode. I think. Hhmmm.
Trust me, it did not seem that simple at the beginning.
Skill Number Two: The Cigarettes...
One must first remember to ID people. The recent introduction of the "Challenge 21" policy means that anyone looking under 21 years of age must be ID'd.
Secondly, I usually give the customer a somewhat baffled look if they have asked for something I have not yet been asked for. I try to repeat what they have said...
"20 Silk Cut blue?"
"B&H meaning Benson & Hedges?"
"By 'light' do you mean smooth or filtered?"
and then there is the embarassment of...
"Sorry we only have gold or black"
"No no you do have silver"
"OK..."
customer follows alongside counter
"It's there... down... down... left... beside the Marlborough"
One customer was chatty enough to remark, "You're clearly not a smoker then, are you? I can always tell in shops..."
This is a mean, very menacing-looking blue machine which is situated right behind me. In short, it dishes out stuff like...
Lotto
Euro Millions
Thunderball
Daily Play
and checks winnings off of scratch cards and lotto tickets alike.
Before each new transaction, one must check that the last has been totally cleared. Honestly it doesn't really matter, but it is best to do these things properly. If the last transaction has not cleared, press "Total" "Send" "Sales Display". The rest is pretty straightforward. But not once one starts out, you understand.
For all transactions, if the customer gives one a slip with their numbers on it, then just feed it into the machine. That's the simple part. If the customer does not have a slip with their numbers on it then, in all cases, press "lucky dip". This enables the machine to choose numbers all by its smart little self.
Lotto: Press "Lotto".
Thunderball: Press "Thunderball".
EuroMillions: Press "EuroMillions".
In other words, use some common sense.
One customer confused me very much however by handing me two pieces of laminated paper. Both pieces were branded with the official "Lotto" logo and had sets of numbers on them. They also had a barcode each.
Apparently all one has to do in this case is press the "Pay card" button and then scan the barcodes into the machine.
The problems start when a customer wins something. One must remember to press the "Pay" button first. I think. Scratchcards require "Scratchcard pay". Hhmmm. Then scan the long barcode into the machine.
At the end of every transaction, press "Total" "Send" "Total" "Send". That should do it.
The problems only get worse when trying to key these into the till. A simple sale requires pressing either "Lottery sales" or "Stamps and Lottery" and then "Lottery sales" depending on whether or not the button on the touch-screen decides to hide. A EuroMillion requires "Stamps and Lottery" followed by "Euro Millions" simple enough.
A Lottery pay-out requires first "Item refund". The "item" is returned without original receipt and is in mint condition. Scan the ticket barcode. I think. Hhmmm.
Trust me, it did not seem that simple at the beginning.
Skill Number Two: The Cigarettes...
One must first remember to ID people. The recent introduction of the "Challenge 21" policy means that anyone looking under 21 years of age must be ID'd.
Secondly, I usually give the customer a somewhat baffled look if they have asked for something I have not yet been asked for. I try to repeat what they have said...
"20 Silk Cut blue?"
"B&H meaning Benson & Hedges?"
"By 'light' do you mean smooth or filtered?"
and then there is the embarassment of...
"Sorry we only have gold or black"
"No no you do have silver"
"OK..."
customer follows alongside counter
"It's there... down... down... left... beside the Marlborough"
One customer was chatty enough to remark, "You're clearly not a smoker then, are you? I can always tell in shops..."
Friday, 5 October 2007
Chapter One: The Impatience
On my very first day I was struck with such things as:
"Could you please fetch {very long description of printer ink cartridge} for me? QUICK as you can!" (Situation A)
and not to mention the tap-tap-tapping of a customer's clubcard on the top of the counter. (Situation B)
Situation A: The subject did hand me a piece of paper with all the relevant information on it; however I, being new not only to the layout of the printer cartridge shelf, but also to printer ink itself, could not find said cartridge. I apologised to the customer and noticed her tightly pursed lips as she had to accept the fact she was dealing with an incompetant "newbie" who had not undergone any formal training on the upstairs tills (just so as you know, the printer ink is kept behind the tills).
We didn't actually have the cartridge she was looking for...
Situation B: This was the first time I had tried to do a complete "Lotto" transaction all by myself. By that sentence, you already know that something awful is about to happen. In my mind, a "complete" Lotto transaction is one where the customer has won something, then tries to use her winnings to buy another ticket. Yes, I did say "tries"; it just never seems to work smoothly with me.
I did indeed mess it up and had to track down another member of staff for help.
The customer did not help much by making me nervous; from the very start of the transaction she was indeed tapping her clubcard on the counter. Hhmmm, I am just thinking; did I actually take her clubcard details, or was the card merely tap-tapped on the counter and then put into the very purse where it spends every waking moment of its meaningful life? One will never know.
"Could you please fetch {very long description of printer ink cartridge} for me? QUICK as you can!" (Situation A)
and not to mention the tap-tap-tapping of a customer's clubcard on the top of the counter. (Situation B)
Situation A: The subject did hand me a piece of paper with all the relevant information on it; however I, being new not only to the layout of the printer cartridge shelf, but also to printer ink itself, could not find said cartridge. I apologised to the customer and noticed her tightly pursed lips as she had to accept the fact she was dealing with an incompetant "newbie" who had not undergone any formal training on the upstairs tills (just so as you know, the printer ink is kept behind the tills).
We didn't actually have the cartridge she was looking for...
Situation B: This was the first time I had tried to do a complete "Lotto" transaction all by myself. By that sentence, you already know that something awful is about to happen. In my mind, a "complete" Lotto transaction is one where the customer has won something, then tries to use her winnings to buy another ticket. Yes, I did say "tries"; it just never seems to work smoothly with me.
I did indeed mess it up and had to track down another member of staff for help.
The customer did not help much by making me nervous; from the very start of the transaction she was indeed tapping her clubcard on the counter. Hhmmm, I am just thinking; did I actually take her clubcard details, or was the card merely tap-tapped on the counter and then put into the very purse where it spends every waking moment of its meaningful life? One will never know.
Introduction: Week one
So, I have a job. Yes, after almost nineteen years of unemployment due mostly to the fact that I am, after all, a mere eighteen years old; I, Gemma Claire McGee am finally in the World of Work.
And it sucks.
But I do enjoy it.
It sucks because I stand behind a till for up to three hours at a time (and then I enjoy a wonderful fifteen minute break during which I just about have enough time to walk downstairs, wash my hands after handling all that money, read the paper for five minutes - no, I never have time to finish an article - and then pop to the bathroom for five minutes or less, depending on what I think of my hair when I catch a fleeting glimpse of it in the mirror) in two-and-a-half inch heels - stupid trousers, but that's a story for another time folks - saying exactly the same thing to each customer. When I get home after an amazing "jog" to the bus, still in my two-and-a-half inch heels, I am too exhausted to comtemplate doing anything that evening. I do though; I enjoy going out but only if I'm in bed by 10pm. And it's 9.27 now. It sucks because I'm hopeless too.
I enjoy it because some of the customers do actually give me a good laugh. Sometimes I give them a good laugh.
And that's what this blog is all about. I will be enlightening you on such matters as "The Ten Likely Responses when asked 'Would you like a bag?'"; "The Tourists"; "Top Ten Reasons for causing me to Freeze" and such-like.
Enjoy. It's going to be a long read :)
And it sucks.
But I do enjoy it.
It sucks because I stand behind a till for up to three hours at a time (and then I enjoy a wonderful fifteen minute break during which I just about have enough time to walk downstairs, wash my hands after handling all that money, read the paper for five minutes - no, I never have time to finish an article - and then pop to the bathroom for five minutes or less, depending on what I think of my hair when I catch a fleeting glimpse of it in the mirror) in two-and-a-half inch heels - stupid trousers, but that's a story for another time folks - saying exactly the same thing to each customer. When I get home after an amazing "jog" to the bus, still in my two-and-a-half inch heels, I am too exhausted to comtemplate doing anything that evening. I do though; I enjoy going out but only if I'm in bed by 10pm. And it's 9.27 now. It sucks because I'm hopeless too.
I enjoy it because some of the customers do actually give me a good laugh. Sometimes I give them a good laugh.
And that's what this blog is all about. I will be enlightening you on such matters as "The Ten Likely Responses when asked 'Would you like a bag?'"; "The Tourists"; "Top Ten Reasons for causing me to Freeze" and such-like.
Enjoy. It's going to be a long read :)
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